In the Name of Uwe Boll: A Financial Wreck Tale

In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, the $70 million fantasy epic, bombed magnificently at the box office, drawing only $3 million in its first weekend, and the circling vultures know that infamous director Uwe Boll is running out of extra lives.

This isn’t the first time Boll’s big budget future has been questioned, but news reports now seem certain that he won’t be making more mega-million movies. His recent comments to the Hollywood Reporter suggest he’s thinking the same thing.

This could signal the end of Boll as a byword for bad films. Two of the most frequently disastrous (and hilarious) aspects of Boll films are symptomatic of their budgets: special effects and casting. The former includes “clever” POV shots, unbelievably derivative bullet-time editing, and similarly exhausted post-Matrix techniques. The latter stuffs his films with slumping B-list actors who sometimes don’t even seem to conceal their disdain for the material. With these two cash-bloated albatrosses lifted from his neck, Boll will just be left with his lethally banal scripts and static direction. That would still mean bad movies, but not Uwe Boll-bad. He would still have a lot of obstacles to conquer, but he would be well on his way to making a bearable film.

And in a way, I’m kind of rooting for the guy. He still has a lot of terrible faults, and his films’ content as well as his personal conduct suggest he is adolescent and shallow at best. But his determination and resolve in the face of unanimous critical condemnation and total commercial failure is, in a way, admirable. The Onion’s completely straight-faced, sincere interview presents a crass, matter-of-fact fatalist who is at least honest about his residency in the lowest common denominator.

As a fan of bad movies, I can personally say that unlike many bad directors, producers, and actors, Uwe Boll has done more than waste my time with his riotously funny misfires. He hasn’t been perfect; BloodRayne 2 was rather bland, and reviews of In the Name of the King suggest it may be more tedious than hilarious. But few directors can claim an Ed Wood-like trio to match House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark, and the first BloodRayne.

Uwe, whatever path you choose, I salute you. As long as you sincerely believe in your life’s work, you will either continue to make awesomely bad movies, or eventually develop into a competent director. Shine on, you crazy diamond.

Tags: Erick's Bad Taste in Movies, In the Name of the King, Uwe Boll